5 Gallon Plastic Jug

Curriculum Vitae
5 Gallon Plastic Jug

Profile
I am a plastic jug with a capacity of 5 gallons. You can attach a spigot for ease of pouring.

Achievements
* In conjunction with a rope and a spare anchor I was used as an improvised float to mark the spot where captain Jack lost his watch overboard. At low tide the watch was recovered.
* I stored a 35% solution of Hydrogen Peroxide safely for three years.

Work History
04/07 - 04/10 Hydrogen Peroxide Storage.
My main duty was to keep a solution of 35% Hydrogen Peroxide in safe storage whilst at sea. I worked aboard a recreational fishing boat based in Ramsgate. Jack Dooley, my captain, loved to take friends fishing at the weekend. He would turn to me after a long day at sea to help him clean dried fish blood from the cockpit.

Education
My former contents were manufactured by the Guangzhou Jinzhujiang Chemical Co.,Ltd. China (Mainland) I was produced by Yantai Sea-great Packing co, Ltd, also of China (Mainland).

Spare Time Activities
My work required constant vigilance as Hydrogen Peroxide is a potentially corrosive substance. However my recent lack of employment has led to me spending a good deal of time on the beach sunbathing.

Ganesh Statue

Curriculum Vitae
Gold plated Ganesh Statue

Profile
I am a small resin statue of Ganesh with 24 ct gold plated detail and paste diamonds.

Achievements
* I lived in pride of place on a small shelf in the cabin of Mr Pravesh Bedi.
* Mr Pravesh Bedi worshiped me on a regular basis.

Work History
07/07 - 03/10 Personal idol. I was purchased by Mr Pravesh Bedi in the summer of 2007 and began working for him immediately. My main duties were the removal of objects, both physical and spiritual, though I was occasionally called on to place objects in the path of those Mr Bedi believed needed to be checked. I was credited with the removal of all obstacles in the way of Mr Bedi obtaining work aboard the tanker Jag Pushpa.

10/04 - 07/07 Stock Item. Aavkar is a jewellery shop/small manufacturer based in the Gurukrupa shopping centre in Chhani. I was placed in the shop window where my main duty was to entice customers inside in order to facilitate purchases.

Education
I passed all quality control checks of Mr Jatin at Aavkar 7/C Gurukrupa shopping center, Ramakaka Road, PO, Chhani 391740 Vadodara – Gujarat, India

Spare Time Activities
I have recently discovered swimming.

Aquarium Net

Curriculum Vitae

Aquarium net.

Profile
I am an 8 x 6 inch aquarium net with a 12-inch handle. Manufactured from high quality, rust proof, materials I am suitable for salt or freshwater aquarium use. I have no sharp corners that might damage fish or aquarium accessories.

Achievements
* Honoured with respectful removal of Mr Webber’s beloved Angel Fish “Buffy” following her tragic death in 2009.
* Removed diamond ring from the aquarium after fiancée incident.

Work History
10/08 - 04/10 Chief aquarium net. Employed on the motor yacht Pluto as saltwater aquarium net. Following the purchase of the yacht Pluto Mr Webber moved his aquarium once again. I was retained as chief net and was often the focus of conversation as I was now Mr Webber’s longest serving item of aquarium equipment.

06/05 - 10/08 Chief aquarium net. Employed at Hathaway, Guilt & Webber as saltwater aquarium net. When the aquarium moved into Mr Webber’s office I became chief aquarium net. My main duties were to remove, with all due reverence, deceased fish from the tank.

03/03 - 06/05 Secondary aquarium net. Worked for John Webber as saltwater aquarium net. My first job entailed general cleaning duties; removal of food debris, removal of plant debris and unsightly fish faeces.

Education
I was manufactured by Yiwu Baojie Aquarium Equipment Business, No.H4-28671, International Trade City, China Small Commodity City, Yiwu City, Jinhua, Zhejiang, China (Mainland) Zip: 322000 and passed all quality control checks.

Spare Time Activities
I enjoy hanging on hooks.

Plastic Bucket

Curriculum Vitae

Plastic bucket with metal handle.

Profile
I am a small sized bucket with a metal handle. I am of solid construction and have proved to be extremely useful in the past. I am flexible and reliable. I can work alone or with a brush as part of a team. Although I was manufactured to hold paint this is a task I have not been required to undertake in my career to date.

Achievements
* I worked on a recreational fishing boat where I was used as a temporary store for fresh bait.
* I worked on a large container ship in conjunction with a scrubbing brush.

Work History
07/09 - 02/ 10 Fresh Bait Store. I met Mr Jessop following a chance encounter in Whitstable Bay. Immediately perceiving my potential he gave me work on board the motor cruiser Toffee where I was used to store fresh bait - mostly lugworms.

04/02 - 07/09 Bucket/Brush Team Leader. I spent seven years on board the Dutch container ship Aerandir as she carried cargo between Rostock in Germany and Eemshaven in the Netherlands. Working in conjunction with several different scrubbing brushes over the years my task was to hold fresh water whilst the brush was deployed to clean salt from a variety of surfaces in an attempt to minimize corrosion.


Education
I was manufactured at the Suzhou Fanshang Plastic factory in Xinlian Village, Huqiu Town, Jiangsu where I passed all relevant quality control checks.

Spare Time Activities
I enjoy holding warm, soapy water whenever the opportunity arises.

Vaseline

Curriculum Vitae

Small Pot of Vaseline

Profile
I am a conveniently sized metal pot of high quality petroleum jelly. My contents provide excellent protection for the lips or other sensitive areas of skin during both winter and summer months.

Achievements
* I graced the handbag of Lucy Jeffers, twice featured in Tatler, who took me to her seaside retreat as well as skiing.
* I was stocked at Boots in High St Kensington where I sold within a week.

Work History
04/10 - 06/10 Handbag Accessory I worked for Lucy Jeffers as a handbag accessory. Duties included having my contents spread over the lips for a variety of reasons such as; wind chill protection, restoring lips after heavy kissing and preventing seawater induced cracking.

04/10 - 04/10 Stock Item I was stocked by Boots the chemist in their High Street Kensington branch. My main duties were to pose in an attractive manner as part of a small, till situated, display.

Education
I was manufactured in Norway from 100% petrolatum and successfully passed all quality control checks.

Spare Time Activities
I love to hang out with other cosmetics, either in a bag or on small bathroom shelves.